I’ve been going a little crazy since I entered my 3rd trimester a few weeks ago, resulting in a definite lack of blogging.
I’ve been attempting to nest like a crazy woman, and I guess it’s not working? Let me attempt to explain.
Nesting for most expectant mothers involves cleaning, cooking, buying, assembling, washing, folding, organizing. I despise all forms of cleaning, although I can enjoy some organizing and have made a good attempt at it. The problem with organizing is when I am physically incapable of reaching either things that are needed, need to be organized, or need to hold the things I’ve organized, I can’t complete the organization and then leave piles of mess everywhere that drive me a different kind of crazy.
Due to my diagnosis of gestational diabetes, cooking no longer amuses me. Every thing I put in my mouth is supposed to have a carb count associated with it, and it has seriously decreased my pleasure in food. I usually LOVE to cook and bake and do so far more often than I should (based on keeping the husband’s and my weight in check), but the diagnosis just leaves me frustrated with my seeming inability to enjoy all the fun fall foods that are starting to make their appearances. I’ve replaced cooking/baking with crocheting, but progress is far slower there than with cooking/baking.
Also on the food front, I’ve gone a lil crazy planning meals for the fam while I recover from my c-section. As I realized yesterday as I started making their grocery lists for my husband, I easily have enough meals planned for two weeks, and there are still other things I had planned on. Food has become a financial drain and I need to get a handle on it.
When it comes to buying, I’m “hindered” by the fact that this is my second daughter, so there really isn’t much to buy. Sure, she got her own crib, sheets, and blankets, as well as a new activity center (DD1’s was cheap and no one enjoyed it much), but that’s about it. There have been some random clothing purchases so she doesn’t look like a clone of her big sister and because her first Halloween and Thanksgiving outfits need a much smaller size than her big sister did. But other than that, there isn’t much to be purchased.
Assembling is left for the husband, cuz he needs more work to do. 😉
Washing and folding all the baby clothes is a necessity, but still a chore that I hate. Although they are easier to fold and put away than the piles and piles of toddler clothes for DD1.
So I mentioned noise in the title of my post. All these nesting things create noise in my head, sure, but the even bigger noise inside my head is a form of anxiety. At 33 weeks, this baby is head down and low, something my older daughter never was. I worry that all our careful and necessary planning is going to get tossed out the window and leave everyone scrambling to make adjustments or other arrangements, including what to do with my older daughter, WHILE I’m being prepped for surgery. As of this writing, I don’t want DD1 at the hospital with me. I think it would be scary for her to see mommy poked, prodded and hooked up to a half dozen machines. And while I have several people who are willing to help with the toddler, food, chores, and my general care, they all need time off work to do so.
Oh, and have I mentioned that I don’t WANT another c-section? That the only reason I’m not fighting for a VBAC is because we need the schedule more than I need to avoid surgery?
While I’m not the most positive of people on a good day, I do what I can to keep my bitching to a minimum because people don’t want to hear it. We all have problems and don’t need to air every single thing to the world. But some times, like now, we all need to vent and possibly get a little reassurance that it really will be ok. And it will be, but sometimes the noise is just SO loud…